


You Don't Get Me High Anymore

by george_weasleys_cries



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay, Getting Back Together, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, Miss you, Multi, OT4, Sad, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 14:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14191164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/george_weasleys_cries/pseuds/george_weasleys_cries
Summary: The boys deal with their post-breakup feelings.Title from You Don't Get Me High Anymore by Phantogram





	You Don't Get Me High Anymore

_Is it my imagination?_  
_Is it something that I'm taking?_  
_All the smiles that I'm faking_

  
Luke sighed as he glanced at Michael dancing with some random girl, a pretend smile painting his face. He glances over at Ashton giggling with a blonde as she hands him another drink, drunkenly chasing a high that’s not there anymore. He takes a breath before glancing to Calum. Calum, sweet Calum, who was sitting alone completely by himself not even pretending to be happy. Luke stopped the itch in his legs to run over and dance with Calum like the good days.

  
_"Everything is great_  
_Everything is fucking great"_

  
Michael glanced around discreetly trying to catch one of his bandmates’ eyes. He pretends not to notice the burning stare being aimed at the back of his head or the person from management it’s coming from. He watches Luke takes another sip of beer barely hanging onto the wrong side of tipsy. He sees Calum smile at a waitress as she brings him another soda Michael knows he’s spiked with something to numb the pain. He sees Ashton lean forwards to press a kiss to the blonde’s cheek and feels a rage he didn’t know he was capable of take him over. He forces his eyes away as he watches the drunk brunette continue to dance with him. He feels an emptiness ache deep in his bones.

  
_Going out every weekend_   
_Staring at the stars on the ceiling_   
_Hollywood friends, got to see them_

  
Ashton giggled reaching for another drink. At this point he didn’t know how much he’d had to drink and quite frankly he didn’t care. He just wanted to purge himself of the horrible feeling in his chest. He knew he’d regret it in the morning but honestly fuck it. In the back of his mind he vaguely worried about the rest of his band before drowning his worries with another shot.

  
_Such a good time_  
_I believe it this time_

  
Calum leaned back and took another sip of his coke spiked with rum. The nicotine itched burned his hand and he tried to ignore it. It itches. He paused as he reached for a pack of smokes no longer safely nestled in his back pocket. He has a flash of memory at the empty pocket. “No baby.” “These are bad for you.” “Don’t ruin your perfect voice, please, baby, please.” Right, he’d quit. He’d had a reason to quit. Now he craved a smoke for the first time in months. He wanted the fake high and the burn of his throat. He saw Ashton chasing fake happiness with alcohol. Michael chasing it with cheap sex, and Luke put the bottle of beer to his lips as he takes a measured sip. Don’t get to drunk. To many secrets will be out. Don’t let anyone know. No one can know.

  
_Tuesday night_  
_Glazed over eyes_

  
Luke stumbled as he got up, done with the whole night. He pretended not to notice the judging stares of his fellow club goers. He pretended not to see the glaring headlines. He pretended not to hear his managements’ lecturing rant. He pretended not to stumble as he made his way towards the doors. Pretended not to see the headlines, “Has 5SOS Lead Singer Fallen Off the Bandwagon?”, “5SOS Band Member Caught Leaving Pub Early!”, or “Does Luke Hemmings have a partying problem?” Luke didn’t look back as he left the sleazy pub.

_Just one more pint or five_  
_Does it even matter anyway?_

  
Ashton giggles as he reaches for another shot. Ashton liked the fuzzy feeling taking over his body. He wanted to forget. Forget kissing on skyscrapers or sleeping in the same bed. He wanted to forget biting lip rings and holding hands. He felt the smile slip off his face as he reached for another shot.

  
_We're dancing on tables_  
_And I'm off my face_  
_With all of my people_  
_And it couldn't get better they say_  
_We're singing 'til last call_

  
Michael dances with some blonde. She’s attractive, but Michael knows it won’t go anywhere. Not when he’s thinking of curly hair, blue eyes, and kiwi skin. He has a burn for something. Michael doesn’t know what. But he does. Messy bed sheets, long nights out together, sloppy kisses, and promises of forever. He sighs as the blonde presses another chaste kiss to his cheek. He knows how the night will go: leaving with her, papped by paparazzi, headlines soaring, and he hates it.

  
_And it's all out of tune_  
_Should be laughing, but there's something wrong_  
_And it hits me when the lights go on_

  
Calum glared into his drink. He hated this. Hated it more than anything. He wanted to be on the bus, curled together with arms thrown sloppily over him. He wanted soft morning kisses and soft hand holds. But that wouldn’t happen. He frowned as he got up and left.

  
_Shit, maybe I miss you_

  
Luke gasps as he stumbles onto his bunk on the bus. He feels the glaring absence of arms wrapped him and sniffles slightly. He feels all the emotions he’s been burying start to assault him. He misses it. Misses them. He rolls over in his lonely bunk and silently starts to cry.

  
_Just like that and I'm sober_  
_I'm asking myself, "Is it over?"_  
_Maybe I was lying when I told you_  
_"Everything is great_  
_Everything is fucking great"_

  
Ashton jolts as he feels his bodyguard grab his arm and guide him up.. He lets the bodyguard guide him back to the bus and stumbles as he’s lead to his bunk. He vaguely thinks he hears someone crying but doesn’t get the chance to investigate it as he is pushed into his bunk that he shares with Calum.

  
_And all of these thoughts and the feelings_   
_Cheers to that if you don't need them_   
_I've been checking my phone all evening_

  
Michael gets up and grabs the blonde’s hand. She’s so drunk he doesn’t want to leave her alone. He’ll take her home and deliver her to her parents. He knows the paparazi will go crazy with this but he could honestly care less. He’s so tired. He’s tired of people looking at him and seeing a record label.

  
_Such a good time_  
_I believe it this time_

  
Calum lets a cute brunette pull him up as they start to dance. He can feel the headache forming for the coming rebuke from management, but right now he’s got a cute boy in his arms and he could care less. He knows the boy will be gone in the morning and it won’t fill the ache in his heart. He won’t have pale skin, curly hair, and blue eyes. He pushes those thoughts out of his head as he and the boy fall into a hotel bed together.

_Tuesday night_  
_Glazed over eyes_  
_Just one more pint or five_  
_Does it even matter anyway?_

The following night goes much the same. Ashton gets so drunk he can’t walk, Calum chain smokes through two entire packs of cigarettes, Michael gets drunk and sleeps with someone who’s face he can’t recall the next morning, and Luke goes home alone to an empty too-big bed.

  
_We're dancing on tables_  
_And I'm off my face_  
_With all of my people_  
_And it couldn't get better they say_  
_We're singing 'til last call_  
_And it's all out of tune_

  
Calum grabbed another shot and downed it thoughtlessly. He was drowning out last nights’ hangover with tomorrow's. He had a good time, pretending not to feel the aching absence of arms around his waist or lips on his cheek. He danced with random people and pretended it was enough. He couldn’t back down. Not now. Not ever.  
Should be laughing, but there's something wrong

  
_And it hits me when the lights go on_  
_Shit, maybe I miss you_

  
Luke walked to the interview they had that day and tried to force a smile onto his face. Just eighty more days. He could make it. He could. He tells himself that as he sees Calum down four Advil for his hangover, Ashton try and swish the taste of alcohol out of his mouth, and Michael try in vain to fix his sex hair. Just eighty more days. If his eyes are bloodshot when he walks out no one says anything.

  
_Now I'm asking my friends, how to say "I'm sorry"_  
_They say "Lad, give it time, there's no need to worry"_  
_And we can't even be on the phone now_  
_And I can't even be with you alone now_  
_Oh how, shit changes_  
_We were in love, now we're strangers_  
_When I feel it coming up I just throw it all away_  
_Get another two shots 'cause it doesn't matter anyway_

  
Ashton doesn’t know how to fix this. He’s not even sure where to start. What was the breaking point? The stress? The fight? The tour? He doesn’t know, but avoiding them is making his heart hurt. He can’t go on like this.

  
_We're dancing on tables_  
_And I'm off my face_  
_With all of my people_  
_And it couldn't get better they say_  
_We're singing 'til last call_  
_And it's all out of tune_

  
Luke grabs the mic so hard he’s vaguely afraid he’ll break it. He wants to do this though, has to. He can’t just run out of a concert. It’s just the first song.

  
_Should be laughing, but there's something wrong_  
_And it hits me when the lights go on_

  
Ashton runs off stage the second the last song was done. He needed to fix this.

  
_We're dancing on tables_

_And I'm off my face_

_With all of my people_

  
Calum grabs his phone as he runs back to the bus. He can’t keep making due with cheap sex and fake love. He wanted to stop hiding.

  
_And it couldn't get better they say_  
_We're singing 'til last call_  
_And it's all out of tune_

  
Michael doesn’t look back as he races to the bus. He has to get there. He has to make this right. He wants blue eyes, curly hair, and dark skin again. He picks up his pace as he sees the bus in the corner of his eye. He bursts through the door panting and sweating.

  
_Should be laughing, but there's something wrong_  
_Shit, maybe I'll miss you_


End file.
